Today’s episode of The Psychology World Podcast is on 3 Reasons Why People Get Bored in Relationships and How to Overcome them. So, this episode dips into social psychology and cognitive psychology.
Please note: this is NOT relationship advice or any sort of advice. This is just my podcast episode based on psychology research.
The Brain Naturally Adjusts to Excitement Over Time:
This is the first reason for why people experience boredom in relationship, and this is completely natural.
Also, the easiest way to explain this reason is by linking it to addiction- because when we’re in a new exciting, passion filled relationship. Our body releases a boat load of hormones and neurotransmitters into our brain and bloodstream.
Causing us to feel the intense emotions that we do.
However, overtime our brains begin to build up a tolerance to these neurochemicals, meaning we need more intensity to get the same rush.
Resulting, the relationship seeming boring compared to before.
The Solution:
The easiest solution for the problem is to remember why we’re grateful for this relationship and focus on the other non-sexual parts of the relationship.
Lack of Novelty:
We all love something new and exciting.
I would go into my own personal example of the first time I could class myself as in love, but that’s a whole podcast episode on its own!
Anyway, I know it’s not relationship related, but I remember when I first started audiobooks. I thought they were great, exciting, and I loved them.
However, overtime as I recorded more audiobooks, and I started this podcast. Audio lost its magic and I still love audio, but it’s no longer magical.
The same is true for relationships, we all want to something new and exciting, as well as many people call this ‘keeping things fresh’
Leading to me the solution, in relationships it’s important to keep things interesting and exciting, and you could do anything. Perhaps go out for dinner out of the blue or just decide to go out for a day out without planning for it.
(well, that depends on the day trip. I don’t recommend going to another country as a day trip without planning for it)
Lack of Intimacy:
Now, this isn’t strictly talking about not having enough sex, but I hear that’s very important in relationships.
However, this talks about psychological intimacy as well. This is when you tell each other everything, share secret and you have a sense of closeness between you both.
I know that this can be difficult, and life can get in the way and work can get too busy.
However, it’s important to reconnect and do this thing called talking.
Yes, you know the thing were you talk about your day and your feelings. Instead of checking your emails, Facebook and other distractions.
Overall, I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s social psychology episode.
If you want to learn more, then please check out the following links:
Have a great day everyone!
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References:
Boven, L. V., & Ashworth, L. (2007). Looking forward, looking back: Anticipation is more evocative than retrospection. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General,136(2), 289-300. doi:10.1037/0096-3445.136.2.289
Dutton, D. G., & Aron, A. P. (1974). Some evidence for heightened sexual attraction under conditions of high anxiety. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 30(4), 510–517. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0037031
Lyubomirsky, S. (2010). Hedonic Adaptation to Positive and Negative Experiences. Oxford Handbooks Online. doi:10.1093/oxfordhb/9780195375343.013.0011