Why Am I Disillusioned With Clinical Psychology? A Careers In Psychology Podcast Episode.

As I near the end of my Clinical Psychology MSc and look towards the future of working in mental health, I am increasingly being concerned, disillusioned and unsure about any sort of future employment. Not because I am a bad candidate, a bad student or someone who doesn’t care about psychology. I seriously love and care about clinical psychology. Yet there are massive barriers and silly experience requirements baked into clinical psychology that mean the less privileged are less likely to be able to work in mental health than their richer peers. Therefore, in this careers in psychology podcast episode, you’ll learn about why am I disillusioned with clinical psychology, how my inability to take unpaid work has limited my career options and how am I dealing with the impracticality of working in clinical psychology. If you want to learn more about working in mental health and finishing a Masters degree then this will be a great episode for you.

Today’s psychology podcast episode has been sponsored by Careers In Psychology: A Guide To Careers In Clinical Psychology, Business Psychology and More. A brilliant magazine containing two psychology books and five gripping psychology articles per issue for a bargain price. Available from all major eBook retailers and you can order the paperback and hardback copies from Amazon, your local bookstore and local library, if you request it. Also available as an AI-narrated audiobook from selected audiobook platforms and library systems. For example, Kobo, Spotify, Barnes and Noble, Google Play, Overdrive, Baker and Taylor and Bibliotheca.

Why Am I Disillusioned With Clinical Psychology?

Moving on to the content part of today's episode. So like I probably mentioned in the introduction, I decided to just put on the microphone, literally, just to talk about the disillusionment that I have with clinical psychology. You must take note, I didn't really want to talk about this, and this isn't scripted. This is very much me just talking about how I'm feeling because I'm feeling exhausted, to be honest, very disillusioned, and just quite, I don't know, burned out. I don't think that’s the right word because sure, I'm tired, but I really have been managing my energy levels recently because of my outreach work. And because I've been doing so much outreach tutoring, so I've been presenting in the sessions. I know that because that's very performative for me, I really have had to think about my energy levels and just be very mindful of it. And I really am managing. But at the end of this, I'm just so disillusioned with clinical psychology. I will talk about that after a bit of context.

My Psychology Journey and Context

Some bit of light context, why am I talking about this?

So at the time of recording, it is July 2025, and I'm just about to finish my clinical psychology master's. And I've done my master's for the past two years because I did it part-time. I've had an amazing time. I've learnt so much about clinical psychology, so much more about therapy models, psychological assessments, formulation. One of my favorite modules was the neuropsychology of aging, which is something I thought I was absolutely going to hate, and I thought it would be the worst thing ever for me. However, it was actually brilliant. It was one of my favorite modules. I learned so much about cognitive behavioral therapy and adapting it for older adults. I learned about the mental health needs and the suicide risk of older adults. And I learned how the aging brain and the aging process impacts our behavior in so many brilliant, fascinating ways that I flat out love. And it was such a fun modules.Even the statistics, even though I still hate statistics with an utter passion, it was amazing fun. I learned stuff. I definitely learned some stuff for sure. I can name none of it, none of it off the top of my head, but it was still quite life-changing. And it certainly gave me a lot of gossip because of how bad the lecture was. So I've loved my master's for the past two years.

Also, my undergraduate, which I started at my same university in 2019... I did a 4-year undergraduate where I made so many valuable connections, and I've spoken a lot about my psychology journey in the past.And I did a year's research placement at my university, where I took part in some major research projects which, again, taught me so many valuable skills, and even now at Open Days at my university, I still reference those valuable experiences. It taught me how to improve my academic writing, the valuable connections that I made, and those connections are still serving me today. And it was only the other day earlier that I had an email from someone who I used to work with, and we had a really good conversation about one of the papers that we were going to publish. So, again though, those connections are really helpful, and I've loved my undergrad, but I've spoken about all of this before on the podcast.

So I've done six years of study. I have worked so hard. I've written so many essays. I've cried. I've done so much to pass my degree and make sure that it's a good pass. Also, in the aims of becoming a clinical psychologist, I've started this podcast. Every week, without fail, sometimes twice a week, I bring you a psychology podcast episode just so I can keep learning, keep enjoying, keep being inspired by this amazing profession that we get to work in. Whether it's therapy, whether it's an aspect of clinical psychology, whether it's an aspect of mental health, I love it. I explore it. And none of this was taught to me in my lecture theatres. This is always me going above and beyond.

In addition, I've written my books. I've researched them. I've created my books. I've had a brilliant time doing all of this in the hopes of becoming an aspiring clinical psychologist, and I think I do want to be a clinical psychologist to some extent. However, I will mention why I'm starting to doubt this in a little bit.

My Mental Health And Everything I’ve Had To Deal With

Moreover, something else is that I've had to deal with so much over the past few years, like child abuse, my intensely homophobic, hateful relationships. And with my family, my social environment, they hated me being gay. I was in fear for my life. I thought that if they found out I was gay, I would be beaten, killed, and made homeless. And, of course, if they didn't kill me at that point...which I was certain they would because of the stuff that my social environment would say to me, would say about gay people, etc. So that was really scary for me.

Also, I've had to deal with my rape. I was raped in April 2024. And as all of you know from the podcast, especially if you listened in 2024, I was depressed. I had massive social anxiety. I had PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). My mental health was horrific most days. I couldn't get out of bed. I could barely do anything. I had to skip lectures, to be honest, just so I could work, one to get money. And it's just all of those sort of factors. I get money, keep my mind busy and just try and escape the rape memories, the rape thoughts, the flashbacks, for just a little while longer. That was hard. That was next to impossible to deal with at times, and hell, I tried to kill myself three times last year because it was so traumatic being raped.

Then I also had to deal with anorexia, and the horrific toll that took on my health, like not wanting to eat, having panic attacks about the smell of food, so I didn't want to get fat. I wanted to control an aspect of my life that my rapist couldn't touch. So those are the mental health aspects. So as you can see, mental health has taken up a massive bit of my time, as has the counseling. Like, I've been through counseling three times now. And, thankfully, I'm finally at a place in my life where it's really worked for me. It's helpful. It's inspiring, and I've learnt so much about myself. My mental health is brilliant.

However, because of my mental health, because of the really bad state of postgraduate loans here in the UK, I've had to really focus on getting money. Now, personally, I have not minded that. I've actually had amazing fun collecting money, for example, my outreach work. Because I had to get money to survive, I really had to do a lot of outreach work, which was why me doing a part-time degree was super valuable. I've made so many good connections. I've made friends. I've gained so many experiences. For example, because I was able to do so much outreach work, I was able to do Breakfast Club, which meant I got to interact and work with autistic kids, kids with social anxiety, other neurodivergent kids. And it was only, like, yesterday, for example, I was working with a visually impaired student. So I was able to interact and work with her and change my presentation style to match her needs just so she could thrive. And it was fascinating talking to her teacher, just brilliant.

Why Am I Starting To Doubt My Future Clinical Psychology Career?

I've learned a lot from my experiences but this is why I'm starting to doubt why I want to be a clinical psychologist. Because I've had to work so much, I'm not able to get the volunteering experience that you need to be able to be a clinical psychologist. So let me explain that in a little more detail, or where this doubt started to come from. So, recently, I've been starting to read the amazing book "The Clinical Psychologist Collective" by Dr. Marianne Trent. It's a brilliant book. I highly, highly recommend it. Now, the thing about that book is that it's a massive collection of about, I don't know, 20 or 30 clinical psychologists talking about how they got onto the clinical psychology doctorate.

Now, there were a few things about this book. So there were some common themes. Of course, everyone's journey onto the clinical doctorate is very different, but there were some common themes. And there are two themes I want to address here. Firstly, you've got to make clinical psychology your entire life. You've got to live, breathe, and eat clinical psychology and mental health. Also, you need to be able to get experience. Now, those two things actually don't align with me anymore, and that I found quite surprising and quite shocking. Because, yes, I live and I breathe psychology. I do this podcast. I do my psychology books. I do my lectures. I do my degree, but in reality, that is not enough to be a clinical psychologist. And also, I like hanging out with my friends. I like writing my fiction. I like running my publishing business. I like doing my outreach work. I like doing stuff that isn't psychology-related.

In fact, I can't function if I'm only doing psychology. If I only did psychology and if I only did mental health, that would be my idea of hell, to be honest. Because as much as I love this amazing profession, I need other stuff in my life. But these people who got onto the clinical psychology doctorate actually don't tend to do that, which for me is quite heartbreaking because I love this profession, but I don't want it to be my life. I have met amazing students that were the most lovely, most kindest people who have ever lived, and their entire life is psychology. I've seen their life, that is not me. I don't want to be like them. And if that means I don't get to be a clinical psychologist, that's okay, because this also connects with a lot of other things. Because if your entire life is clinical psychology, then you hunt those work experience opportunities. You look at everything that you possibly can. You will look at extra schemes, extra volunteering opportunities, etc. You move heaven and earth, and you sacrifice so much to become a clinical psychologist, which if that is you, more power to you. I think you are amazing if you want to do that.

But me, I have already sacrificed so much to get where I am. I've sacrificed so much just to still be alive, to be honest. After my rape, my child abuse, my anorexia, everything, I've had to deal with, I have had to make sacrifices for. And I think I'm at the end of my tether about what I am willing to sacrifice. Because after my anorexia counseling, I really did focus on my values, my ideal life, and what I want. And I'm just starting to build and recover my life from the hell of 2024. The year where everything in my life burned to the ground because of how bad my trauma was, how my PTSD was. I lost friends. I had to reset relationships. There's everything in books coming out about it because I just had to write, I had to process it. It was hell. So I have had to sacrifice so much through 2024.

So this leads me on to another bit, because of my mental health, because of me wanting to do other things with my life, I have not had the time or the energy to pursue the volunteering opportunities that you need to do in clinical psychology to be able to get a foot in the door. But this is the thing, you need experience to be able to get a job in mental health or, to be honest, any job. But if you can't get a job, how are you meant to get the mental health experience? And, yes, there are some amazing students who were able to juggle stuff. I'm not one of them. I am human. I have my difficulties. I have my struggles. I have my energy levels, like being autistic, neurodivergent, an introvert, a business owner, writer, psychologist, an outreach tutor, lead ambassador, etc., they all take their toll on me. I don't have time. I do not have a single day where I could volunteer without having massive implications for my own health, and I can't do that to myself anymore.

I have tried so much to grind myself into dirt, working, trying to survive, trying to get where I want to be. I just can't do it anymore because that work-life balance, basically, makes my mental health really bad. It means I can't function for days, it means I just lie in bed just trying to feel better and recover. That is me. And the very idea that because of my mental health, because of how bad my physical health has been because of my anorexia and just how I'm trying to survive and cope, and because I need the money so I cannot take unpaid work, all of that means I cannot be a clinical psychologist.

That is disgusting.

That is why I'm so disillusioned with our profession, because I'm passionate. I love this profession. I want to help people. I have been trying to validate people more to try and be better, try to be more welcoming to our future clients. To some extent, it almost seems like none of that matters. Because as much as I love this profession, as much as I do, or as much as I do these podcasts, as much as I love talking about psychology with people, it doesn't matter.

That's how I feel at this point.

Because I've not been able to get this work experience because I cannot afford to get the volunteering, I cannot afford to do unpaid work. And there was this quote in "The Clinical Psychologist Collective" that really stuck with me. "I had the financial backing of my parents." My parents are not poor. But they could not support me financially for a year and pay my bills for me, and for me to do a year full-time unpaid work experience and unpaid work. They couldn't. And that's literally what some people have had to do to be able to become a clinical psychologist, and that's disgusting. That is why psychology is such a White, middle-class female profession. And it's starting to hit me now, just how hard that is to change. These are massive societal forces that we just can't change, basically, unless something major happens.

So as difficult as it is, I'm thinking, will I be able to do any role in mental health because I have stepped back and I have gone right: Clinical psychology might not be for me, okay. What other mental health roles could I look at? And I've looked.

I've looked because I worked at a careers fair and there was an NHS stand, and there was a massive booklet on psychological therapies, so I looked. A psychological well-being practitioner, brilliant. And I've applied for some jobs. I'm really looking forward to that if it ever happens. I don't think it would. Those trainee roles, again, super competitive, and you need mental health experience. Hey, it's a brilliant role. I would love to be a psychological well-being practitioner.

Also, an education mental health practitioner, brilliant role. I've applied for some, and it sounds really exciting. It sounds right up my street, working in schools, working with children, sounds brilliant. Again, you suddenly need mental health experience even though I've worked six years with children. I've looked into being a therapist, and, like, not a clinical psychologist but a therapist. Issue with that is you need mental health experience, and you need another postgraduate qualification in a specific form of therapy. I've already done a master's. I've already done an undergrad. I don't really want to do yet another master's or postgraduate qualification at this time. If it was for a training position, like training psychological well-being practitioner or another apprenticeship, I wouldn't mind that. Because I would be working, and I would have a full-time job, and I would have a job on the side. I don't mind that.

A therapist, no. Because you need a lot of experience, and you need another postgraduate qualification that isn't an apprenticeship.

I've looked at being a counselor because someone from outreach is a counselor, and she's amazing. I'm, hopefully, going to work with her tomorrow. I've looked, and you need your level two, three, and four qualification to be able to be a therapist. No, to be able to be a counselor. Again, I've already done a master's and an undergrad. I don't really want to do yet another three years of study just to get another qualification. Well, yes, by the end of it, if I'm able to get on it, if I'm able to do my 100 hours, I would be a fully qualified counselor. Then there's still the issue of finding a job at the end.And I think the reason why I feel like this is just because it's like, "What's the point?"

And I know this is a very depressing episode. I think we all feel like this. Thankfully, I have sort of got a plan.

There are backup options.

I am going to still keep applying for mental health professions. I'm still going to keep applying for mental health roles. Whether it's pastoral, whether it's mental health, whether it's an assistant psychologist position, whether it's so many other connected roles when it comes to mental health, I'm still going to keep trying, keep applying. Because one day, I might get there. I might get someone who wants to take a chance on me. And I really hope that someone does because I am caring. I care about people so much. I want people to be okay.

Because, as I literally said on my supporting letter, because I thought, right? I'm just going to be authentically me. I talk about this stuff enough, and if any employee looked at the podcast, looked at my books they would know I was raped. So I literally said in one of my statements I have been raped, I have been through anorexia, I've been through PTSD, I've been through child abuse, and I know how valuable counseling, therapy, psychology is. Psychology changes lives. I want to do that for other people. But because I've got to work, because I've had to take time out for myself, because I've got to focus on my own mental health, I've not been able to get this mythical, magical volunteering experience that this profession needs. And because I can't do that, because I'm not privileged enough, the doors are, basically, shut to me after six years of study. That is outrageous. That is disgusting. And I think that is why this is sort of turned into a small rant.

I'm gonna keep trying. I'm not gonna shut the door, but I am going to focus on other careers at times. Because I know come September, come two months' time, I am not going to be able to have a mental health job. And part of me really hopes this episode is completely no-void come September. But part of me doesn't think it will, and that's a shame because I love mental health. I'm so glad to want to work in this profession. I've been so privileged the past six years to work with, to be taught by, and to be able just to discuss their research, their lives, with so many amazing clinical psychologists. And I would love to be one of them. I would love to inspire the next generation. And I think I will through this podcast and my books. But me being a mental health practitioner, I don't know if that's going to be me in the future, just because of my life situations, because I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Yes, I know that's hyperbole. And, yes, I know that's probably annoying to some people. That's how I'm feeling.

Clinical Psychology Conclusion

So at the end of this podcast episode, I want to say to you dear listener, if you've just finished your degree and if you're feeling disillusioned, concerned, and nervous about your future working in mental health, I'd say just check in with yourself, make sure you're okay, practice self-care, and really think about what you want from now on. Because this is something that I did based on a line in "The Clinical Psychologist Collective." I focused on, "What do you really want to do with your life, and is clinical psychology the best way to do it?"

My why boils down to something very simple, I want to help people.

There are other ways to help people with their mental health than clinical psychology. Those clinical psychologists are clinicians, practitioners, advocates, researchers, policy writers, and so many more other roles. They are a supervisor. They are a paper pusher at times. That's what some of the stories are that I hear from my lecturers.

That is not what I want to do.

As a result, that's something that I'm thinking about, and I don't know what I'm going to decide, besides from just keep applying to lots of roles and just hope beyond hope I get a job at some point. Because, yeah, in an ideal fantasy world, I would say, "Right, I'm going to finish my master's, then I'm going to take a year out doing nothing but volunteering." I don't have that option. I don't want that option at this point because I'm like if this profession requires me to do a year's unpaid work experience, which is what it feels like at this point, then I'm okay not working in it. I'm very upset. I'm really tired. I'm very disillusioned. So if you're feeling this, just know you're not alone. Turns out I've been looking at stuff online, this is a very common feeling amongst graduates, especially mental health graduates, like clinical psychology.

I really hope you enjoyed today’s clinical psychology podcast episode.

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